Author: Laurie

January 6, 2014

What to Do When You Wake up to Find Yourself Deep in Debt

One of the things many people dread about January is getting those holiday credit card bills. The celebratory spirit of the holiday season often gives us that “que’ sera, sera” feeling, doesn’t it? That is, until January comes and we realize we’ve spent much more than we should’ve. The holiday debts, along with all of the debts that existed before the holiday season, start to overwhelm us, and then panic sets in as we realize we’re headed toward some rough financial waters. Now, instead of celebrating, you’re wondering how to get out of debt.

So, what do you do when you “wake up” one morning and realize that your debt load is too heavy to carry? Well, having had our “wake up” moment just over a year ago, and making the decision at the point to get out of debt for good, I’ve got some thoughts to share that might help: Read more

January 3, 2014

The Frugal Farmer Family’s 2014 Goals

Hello, friends! As we’ve officially made it through our first year of working to pay off debt and get our financial crap together, I thought it’d be a great day to put our 2014 goals out there. Last year, we were focused mostly on just making it through each payday. When you’ve got a 65% DTI and are short each month just to pay the bills, survival is the only goal. Well, we survived, praise God, and are now in a bit more comfy of a place financially. That means we can work on setting actual real goals this year – woohoo!!

I originally had a plan to kind of stay on course with what we did for 2013, but the other night, that plan changed. In December, we decided (mostly due to the LONG winters here) to get Netflix. As we were perusing the fun stuff in the Netflix Library, we came across a series called Alaska: The Last Frontier. For those not familiar with this program, it follows a second and third generation family living a seriously homesteading life in the Alaska wilderness. I’m talking WAY more homesteading-ish than what we do, as in: hunting most all of their meat, providing all of their veggies, etc., for the year, and totally heating their homes with wood. Serious stuff.

Whereas another show we’ve found, TLC’s Extreme Cheapskates, makes one eager to spend money, lest they fall into the habit of dumpster diving for dinner, The Last Frontier made us realize how very much waste there is in our family. Ya’ll know I’m not big into sharing specific numbers regarding our debt levels, but when I added up our total expenditures for 2013, the numbers were WAY higher than what is necessary for a family to live on. And 33% of those expenditures went specifically toward paying off debt. This is NOT acceptable to me. We were lucky in that, with Rick’s overtime and a gift from his aunt, we paid cash for all of those expenditures, but it still bugs the crap out of me that we blew so much money. Ok, we didn’t blow it, we managed it quite well. But I can think of better things to do with that kind of cash than pay other people with it.

Financial Goals

So, whereas I felt pretty great about how we managed our money this year, after watching The Last Frontier series, I realized that we can kick it up a notch. We’ll do that, primarily, by doing two things:

1. We’ll work even harder to reduce our debt and reduce the amount of interest we’re paying to big companies who don’t give a rat’s a___ about us.

2. We’ll scrutinize our expenses and look for ways to reduce them, primarily by growing and preserving more food, working harder at searching out deals on things we have to buy, and analyzing our energy expenses.

Here are our more specific goals:

1. Reduce food expenses. We’ll work to reduce our grocery budget by 17%, getting it down to $4800 this year, or an average of $400 a month. We’ll work to accomplish this by growing and preserving more of our own food, and by working harder to spend less by buying in bulk and on sale. Waste wise we did pretty good as far as food is concerned, I’d say we wasted no more than 5% of our total food.

2. Reduce entertainment expenses. We did pretty good in this area, but I’d like to do better. We spent an average of $74 a month on entertainment for our family of six, and we also took a “staycation” this summer, which cost us an extra $704.16. I’m okay with the vacation numbers, but we’re going to work to keep our entertainment budget at no more than an average of $60 a month.

3. Reduce gas and energy expenses. I spent $2206 in gas monies for my car, and we spent $3973 on propane and other energy costs to power our property. I’d like to get gas costs for my vehicle down to $150 a month average, a reduction of 18%. I’d also like to cut our energy costs by 10%. We’ll do this by hopefully getting our wood stove installed, and by continuing to search for ways to use less energy.

4. Add extra to debt. We didn’t do so well in this area, as we only paid $262 over and above our minimum payments to our consumer debt this year. Remember, we’ve got a high DTI, so any extra toward debt is a blessing, but we’d like to add at the very least $600 this year, or, $50 a month, over and above our minimum payments. We should be able to do this provided we meet our other goals in cutting expenses.

Homesteading Goals

For our first year of homesteading, we didn’t do so bad. We started to learn the basics about growing and preserving your own food, living off the land, and harvesting wood to heat our home. Nonetheless, there are improvements to be made here. In 2014, we’d like to:

1. Grow and preserve MUCH more food. Preferably a year’s worth. We’ll do this by expanding our garden, tending to it better, and freezing/preserving a lot more of the bounty that comes with it. We’ll need to educate ourselves a bit more on canning and preserving, but we can do it. We are also looking to add some chickens into our homestead, and maybe do some hunting as well. I am a huge animal lover, as is the rest of the family, so this may or may not happen, as I’m a bit wimpy about stuff like that. Rick would like to bag a deer for the freezer next fall, though. We’ve also given some thought to going meat-free for the year too.

2. Consume less energy. For 2014, we’ll continue to find ways to use less energy and use the God-given energy sources, like sun and wind, instead. Not sure what this is going to entail, exactly, but it will start with getting our wood stove up and running so that we can heat primarily with wood next winter. We’ll also continue to do things like line dry our clothes, and wash them in cold water only.

3. Work toward more off-the-grid living. We’ll continue to make our own detergent, use natural cleaning supplies like vinegar, instead of commercial cleaning supplies, and learn more about natural healing, uses of herbal medicine, etc. I also got a great book on natural power supplies that is really packed with info. I’d like to finish reading that by the end of the first quarter too, and see if it has any good info in it for us. Basically, we’re working toward minimalizing our need for help from others for survival. We’re doing this not because we hate people 🙂 , but because we feel it’s just a good practice in general, if we’re to be prepared for natural or other disasters. I’ll be updating periodically on our homesteading life and be letting ya’ll know how it’s going, what changes we’ve implemented, etc.

Also, look for our upcoming post on What to Do if You Wake Up and Find Yourself Deep in Debt. January is that time of year when those Christmas credit card bills arrive, and I know it’s a time of year that can get people really freaked out about their money, so we’re going to talk about how to handle that “a-ha” moment.

I want to thank all of you, so much, for your support, encouragement and comments this year. Your support really has been instrumental in helping us to reach our goals, and we’re eagerly looking forward to a successful 2014.

What are your 2014 goals?

December 30, 2013

Fun New Year’s Eve Recipes

Woohoo! 2013 is coming to a close, which means it’s time to celebrate!! We personally don’t care to drive on NYE, so we stay home most years, and either have a small group over here, or celebrate by ourselves. Along with celebrating and reflecting on the ending year, and sharing thoughts about the year to come, though, we make lots of awesome food. 🙂 Here are some New Year’s Eve recipes you might enjoy:

1. Cream cheese with green pepper jelly. I’ve really enjoyed sharing our fun canning experiences with my still-urban sis-in-law, whose garden bounty, in many ways, surpassed ours. She and Rick’s brother constructed some raised beds and pulled off an awesome bounty of lettuces, peppers and other goodies, from which she promptly canned a nice “crop” of green pepper jelly. For those of you who’ve never had green pepper jelly, know that it’s delicious, and goes great with nearly any type of basic cracker. To achieve this special look, sis-in-law took a bar of cream cheese, cut it diagonally, flipped the one piece to create a triangle shape, smothered with the jelly (any type of pepper jelly, or even a sweet salsa, like a peach salsa, will work here), and then cut out chunks of red pepper for the ornaments and star. The stem is a simple slice of celery stick. Delish as an appetizer, quick to make, and pretty too!

2. Puppy Chow. In our family, we’ve got certain desserts, appetizers or dishes that we make only on certain occasions, and Puppy Chow is saved for New Year’s Eve. This easy-peasy, tasty treat is a snap to make:

1/2 a stick of real butter

1/2 c. peanut butter

1 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 t. vanilla

1.5 c. powdered sugar

9 c. rice or corn Chex (a 12 oz. box of cereal will due here)

Pour Chex into large bowl. Melt butter in medium-sized saucepan over low heat. Add in peanut butter and chocolate chips, mixing until fully melted and combined. Remove from heat, add vanilla and mix well. Pour chocolate mixture over Chex, and mix gently and thoroughly with a spoon until all of the cereal is covered with chocolate. Then add the 1.5 c. powdered sugar, and mix well again, making sure to coat all pieces thoroughly. Spread on a cookie sheet to cool. Store in an airtight container in the fridge. This treat is easily 15 minutes from start to finish, and goes over well with everyone we serve it to.

3. Homemade potato chip/veggie dip. This recipe came about when we started working to eliminate additives such as MSG and high fructose corn syrup from our diet. The commercial dips were loaded with stuff we couldn’t pronounce and had never heard of, so we started experimenting with stuff at home. This particular dip is always a huge hit with guests. You can find the recipe by clicking here. It’s super easy, and you’ve likely already got all of the ingredients in your house.

4. Turkey roll-ups. Excuse the poor-quality pic here, my camera’s been acting funny and I have absolutely no idea how to fix it. These delightful appetizers are delicious and always a great way for me to get my kids to eat veggies. Simply:

Take a flour tortilla at room temperature. Spread cream cheese onto the half furthest away from you. On the half closest to you, place a thin slice or two of turkey, ham, or roast beef (or skip the meat and do veggies only), top that with thinly sliced cheese, tomato, red onion, cucumber or any other veggie that suites your tastes, keeping the veggies closest to your side of the tortilla. Sprinkle with salt and pepper, roll up tightly (the cream cheese on the furthest half of the tortilla will serve as “glue” to keep it from unrolling), and either serve sliced in half as a sandwich, or sliced thinly as I’ve done here for an appetizer. All party pleasers that are pretty easy to throw together.

What are your big plans/favorite treats for New Year’s Eve?

December 25, 2013

Will the Real God Please Stand Up?

“I never had a problem with Christ…it was Christians that gave me problems…” – Bono, lead singer of U2

People often misinterpret Jesus Christ because of the actions of Christians. Christians – myself included – can be hypocritical, spiteful, angry, hurtful and just downright mean. It is because of this, I think that people often reject Jesus Christ and the Christianity that the churches preach.

However, I’ve learned over the years that many – dare I say, most – churches are off track when it comes to how they portray God and Jesus Christ. This is not an anti-church rant, so I won’t say anymore on that subject, but suffice to say that our family hasn’t been to “church” in over 5 years. We left our last evangelical free church due to dangerously incorrect teachings about God and Jesus Christ, and have been home-churching, straight from the Bible, ever since. For those of you who may be concerned, yes, we have plenty of fellowship with other Christians as the Bible encourages us to do, it’s just not usually in a church building. And, because our training has come straight from the Bible for so many years, we’ve grown in our understanding of God more in the last five years than we had in the two decades preceding that.

As such, we’ve learned a few things that I think may answer some questions in people’s minds about how this life works. What you read below may be controversial, and of course, you’re welcome to disagree, but this is some of what we’ve come to understand about how the world works, and I’d like to share it with you, as it was life-changing for our family, and I hope it will be for you too.

Read below the excerpt from a book I started years ago, and that I may or may not ever finish. This book is meant to be kind of a follow-up book to my first book on prayer:

I often lament for those who reject God or deny His existence. Whether or not we believe in Him, the fact of the matter is that He does exist, and He is the Creator of all that we see.

And whether or not we choose to believe in Him or accept Him as our Rescuer, we still sit right smack in the middle of a war for our souls.

Jesus has indeed won the final outcome of this war with His resurrection, but Satan still strives day and night to deceive us into believing that God, instead of being a loving Father, putting every attempt in place to get us to open our eyes and recognize the lies we are being told by Satan, that God either doesn’t exist, or is an angry dictator looking to force us into a life of control and complacency – to His boring life of “being good”.

Oh, how I wish they understood! How I wish they could recognize that life with Jesus is SO much more! The Lord once gave me a vision of our family standing in a large eagle’s nest. Covering the nest was a massive eagle’s wing. This was the protective arm of the Lord. The wing was situated so that there was a sliver of sight given us to the world outside our nest. We could see the sky, and in it, a war going on. It was terrible, with planes, bombs – the whole works. Nothing, however, by any means, could harm us though (Luke 10:19), with the giant eagle protecting us in our nest. The planes and bombs were miniscule in size compared to His massive stature, and in His nest, we were safe and sound.

When we start to truly understand God’s tremendous love for us, and begin to understand the power and authority that we inherit as children of God, it is then that we begin to get a glimpse of who God really is, and what his true wishes for us really are. It is then that we start to open our eyes to the fact that God has a love for us that is so colossal that we will not nearly comprehend it till we meet with Him in person on the day of our move from this life into the next.

Most of us, as a result of the fallen state of this world, have a sadly skewed perception of what a father is. Therefore, we see THE Father with a deceived mind.

The more I pour through the Word, the more I come to understand that our Father in Heaven, who created us all is not at all like the Hitler we are deceived into imagining, but instead, He is the Father we all have, in our biggest dreams, ever hoped or wished we could have.

As my own father grows closer to the Lord with each passing year, I often get to see first-hand examples of the love our Father in Heaven has for us.

Once a man dominated by the bondage of the cares and weights of this world, my dad is being transformed by the renewing of his mind more and more with each passing year.

He has an amazing look in his eyes – a look of abundant love, every time he sees one of us kids. He has a smile on his face that is captivating, and a warmness in his heart that is magnetic.

Because he is truly starting to grasp the love the God has for people (we will never fully understand it while on this earth, as we literally couldn’t handle it and would likely die from the intensity), that love is radiating from inside him, and us kids, along with the many others he serves as an ambassador for Christ, are the blessed recipients.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. – Sir Isaac Newton

Whereas God’s love for all humans is so grand and all-encompassing that we could never imagine it, God’s adversary, the Devil (once God’s highest angel and right-hand being, who chose pride over servanthood, tried to take over God’s kingdom, was banished to Hell and still works to this day to destroy God’s beloved creation), has a hate for humans that is so grand that we could never imagine in it. This hate, and the Enemy’s ability to deceive us into believing the lies we’re told about situations, is the major cause of problems on this earth.

Those who are deceived by the Devil think my dad is not right in his mind: another one lost to this crazy cult of Jesus followers. I know, for I was once one myself. I had no desire to give up my “fun” life of drinking, partying, and providing for myself every material thing I thought I deserved and every thing I thought was necessary for a “happy” life. I had no desire to be “good”. To me, good equaled the opposite of fun. It was boring, and I didn’t want to be bored.

But in the quiet times, I realized that I truly wasn’t happy. Hand me a drink and some friends, and all was well. But if I couldn’t be content and happy alone and sober, what was the point? I thought, “When I have my family, the husband and children I’ve always longed for, then I’ll be happy”, or, “When I have my dream home, I’ll be happy.”

When they finally came, I still wasn’t happy. Depression plagued me for years. My husband and I both came from broken homes and had baggage enough for a worldwide tour that made marriage trying and troublesome.

Even after I had accepted Jesus as my Savior, I struggled, on and off, with emptiness and sadness. I had salvation, but nothing more. Life after Jesus wasn’t much different than life before Jesus, save for the partying, which had largely gone by the wayside.

It was then that I realized that I didn’t really know God much at all. I had known what I had heard from pastors and the like. It seemed, though, that they all had different thoughts and opinions about who God was. Some ranted and raved and warned the people to repent before the coming judgment and wrath of God. Others soothed by saying judgment ended with Christ and that God was our buddy, our new BFF, always waiting to join us for fun in this awesome life.

But around me, and when I looked out into the Christian world, things truly looked about the same as they did for non-Christians, and I didn’t get it. Is this all there is? I would ask God and ask myself. Surely, I must be missing something.

It was about this time, the summer of 2007, when I had had enough of mediocrity in life. Understand, I wasn’t wanting for material things. What I desired was a deeper understanding of God and his supposed “good news”. I felt like an outsider as I read the New Testament. The writers of the New Testament wrote as if they were handing us a key to an unlimited treasure chest. Verses such as 1 John 3:1’s “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God, and we are!” baffled me. The disciple John speaks in this verse as if we have won the lottery, but I just wasn’t “feelin’ the love”. What was I missing? Where was the disconnect?

In August of 2007, I called on my dear friend, Jess. Jessie, whom God ordained as one of my closest friends and a spiritual mentor, has a faith in God like I have never seen. So it was the natural choice that I went to her with my questions and doubts. There were things I needed to know. Who is God? Why are these bad things happening in our lives? Is this really of God? If God is love, why is there so much hurt, turmoil and chaos in the world?

Through this process, I learned about God in a way that would be different than I ever imagined. I’ve still got a long way to go – I’m the first to admit it. But what God has revealed to me through this journey are things that I believe will help people to understand who God really is, and clear up many misconceptions that are out there, deceiving people into believing that a life with Jesus Christ is not for them.

God is a good God, and the Devil is a bad devil.

This is the first lessons that Jessie taught me through the Bible. If you read the beginning of the book of Genesis, you’ll see that life was AWESOME. God had provided everything Adam and Eve needed for life: food, shelter, etc. There was no sickness, and no sin – until Satan came running, trying to convince Eve that God was holding out on her in an attempt to lure her away from God and into a life of sin and despair. Eve, and then Adam, took the bait, inviting the sin into this world that has so damaged the lives of people for thousands of years.

Free Will – Both a blessing and a Curse

God made the choice to give all humans free will. Why? Because He wanted His children to love Him by choice, not by force. The down side of free will, however, is that it gives humans the option to make bad choices, such as the choices we made that got us into debt. It’s the evil plans of the Enemy, and also often times those bad choices, that cause most of the problems we have to deal with on earth, not God’s will, as so many churches teach (for more info, read Deuteronomy 28 and Psalm 91). God is not in control of your life unless you ask Him to be – He will not force His way into your life – and unless you go to Him, seeking guidance and direction for every decision, so that you can make the best choices for your life, you’ll be running things on your own. I’ve been there and done that, and in my humble opinion, it sucks. We can’t see the goings on in the dimension of the spiritual world, so without God, we are not running on all cylinders, so to speak. “Hearing” God, or feeling His will in your spirit, only comes after you’ve worked to develop a true relationship with Him, and get to know His voice as opposed to the lying voice of the Enemy. Knowing God in this way will help you to navigate around the trouble the Enemy has planned. This concept alone has completely changed my life, and the lives of my family as well. Read this excerpt from my book on prayer:

Our family got to experience the benefits of having a close relationship with God and being able to discern His instructions to us not too long ago on a car drive with my kids. We were approaching a 4-way stop in which both roads had speed limits of 55 miles per hour. I stopped, and with no one waiting at the signs going the other way, would have normally proceeded through the sign. But the Lord immediately spoke to my spirit. Wait. Having gotten better at hearing His voice through the reading of the Word, I immediately obeyed. I looked, and saw approaching on my left a distracted drive who obviously didn’t see the sign and had no intention of
slowing down. At 55 miles per hour, he came to and passed through the intersection quite fast, and didn’t slow down or realize what he had done until about 100 feet after he’d blown through that stop sign. I know that in the “olden days” before the Word of God had been planted in my heart, I would have looked
no further than the intersection, proceeded through that sign, as was my right, and been t-boned at 55 mph with my kids in the car. The results for all involved would’ve been disastrous. Thanks to the wisdom that comes from spending daily time in the Word, all that resulted was some embarrassment and hopefully some conviction for the distracted driver, and, of course, a very grateful mom and her 4 children. Experiences like this have happened to my family and I more times than I
can count.

It’s very, very difficult for people to admit that there is an Enemy out there wanting to take their lives, and to admit they make choices that can bring trouble to their lives and the lives of their families. Facing the fact that we and we alone had gotten our family into a dangerous amount of debt was horrible. The guilt, shame and sadness (all from the Enemy) tortured us for years. It was horrible, but we didn’t know or understand how to change. So we started to pray that God would give us His wisdom in all situations.

That’s when things started to change.

Prayer works. The more we sought to know God and His Will, the more we asked for His Wisdom, the more we humbled ourselves and made Him and His will the center of our lives instead of ourselves the center of our lives, the more our lives changed for the better. Don’t get me wrong; we still struggle with things, because we live in a world where there is an Enemy after us and where people have free will to do things they shouldn’t do. But now that we know and understand God’s will, through the studying of the Word and through a close relationship with Him, it is MUCH easier to navigate around the troubles the Enemy has laid out for us. This is the difference. Now that we understand God’s tremendous love for us and what His real will is for our lives, we no longer take the Enemy’s crap – we fight back, with what we know about the truth that is God’s will for us as it’s laid out in the Bible.

We now have our own Bodyguard, so to speak, helping us, protecting us, and guiding us, and it’s delivered us out of more troubling spots than I could probably ever fit into a book. And the true “good news of the Gospel” is that He’s available to you as well.

If this post has left you with questions, the very best place I can send you, beside to the Bible, is to Andrew Wommack Ministries. This guy knows the Bible and knows it well. Visit www.awmi.net and go to Teaching Articles on the left sidebar, and have a very, very Merry Christmas.

December 23, 2013

Choosing Long-Term Success over Immediate Gratification

As I look around the world, there are two problems that stick out to me, both in my life, and in the lives of most people in America:

1. Money problems

2. Eating problems

I read an article the other day about how people often convince themselves that they are eating “healthy” food when they buy organic chips and the like, and it got me thinking. Read more

December 23, 2013

Puppy Chow

In our family, we’ve got certain desserts, appetizers or dishes that we make only on certain occasions, and Puppy Chow is saved for New Year’s Eve. Read more

December 20, 2013

How to Save Money on Dairy Products

Hey, friends! Welcome back our contributing writer, Anita, today, as she shares some great tips on saving money on dairy costs.

Unless you have a cow or goat that you can milk every day, then you are like me, at the mercy of the rising costs of dairy products. Every time I go to the store I remember the days when a gallon of milk was $1.00. Even though my husband and I only go through about 1-2 gallons per week, at $3.00+ a gallon, it adds up. I feel for those with kids: when I was growing up we went through several gallons per weeks, as I loved milk and drank a lot, plus all the cooking and baking my mother did. Read more

December 19, 2013

Haggling for a Bargain: An Introduction

Happy Thursday, friends!! Welcome back Kyle from Rather-Be-Shopping for another super helpful, money saving article. Thanks, Kyle, and congrats on the NY Times article!

This past Monday, myself, along with my website Rather-Be-Shopping.com, were lucky enough to be included in a front page article of The New York Times. Believe it or not, the article was about haggling, some might call it “negotiating”, a better price at retail stores, even at high-end stores like Nordstrom. Haggling for a better price has become the new “black” in recent months it seems. If you do it right, and have a solid strategy in place, you can start haggling successfully today. Here is my best advice on getting started. Read more

December 18, 2013

Homesteading: Why We’re Keeping our Back to Basics Lifestyle for 2014

Almost a full year ago, we committed our family to a “Back to Basics” kind of a lifestyle. In an effort to reduce our ridiculously high debt-to-income ratio, we committed to some Depression-era type living so that we could cut our expenses and work toward paying off our debt. As we near the end of year one of our simple living experiment, we’re even more encouraged to stick with it for 2014. What will our 2014 look like as far as simple living is concerned? Read more

December 16, 2013

How to Get out of Debt: Beware of the Self-Justified Pity Party

I had the blessing of going to a dear friend’s house the other night for her annual Christmas cookie exchange. I’d been invited for a few years now, but never went, for a variety of reasons. This year, I decided I would make it come hell or high water, and what a super fun event it was.

This friend, an interior designer by trade with a heart for serving others, served us an 8-course hand-made elegant meal, in her tastefully decorated Victorian house, which she and her family have re-done largely by themselves from the shambles it was when they bought it nearly two years ago.

Then we proceeded to do the cookie event, which was a party in and of itself. Prizes were awarded based on presentation and on taste. We began the cookie portion by having each contestant present and explain their packaging concept, and wow – talk about creativity! Then, after we had voted for two presentation winners, we began the tasting portion (yum!!) and voted on the two best cookies. The prizes that my friend gave out for the winners were super cool: Four tastefully decorated burlap sacks stuffed with all kinds of awesome prizes, all based on different themes. She must have spent at least $50 alone on each prize, not to mention a good couple of hundred bucks on food for all of us.

Obviously, a party of this magnitude is NOT on The Frugal Farmer family agenda right now as we work fervently to dig ourselves out of debt, and I found myself feeling a bit ~~depressed~~ sorry for myself while I was there. Here we are, counting each penny, blah blah blah, and they are spending a good $500 just to bless their friends and family. It didn’t seem fair, and I found myself having quite the pity party over the fact that we don’t have those same options right now. After all, they completed the Dave Ramsey program a few years back, they made much more money than us, blah, blah, blah.

Then I got the psychological slap in the face I needed. The logical side of me came out and started ~~talking~~ giving me the good tail chewing that I needed. What did it say? It said:

1. Stop it!!! They are where they are because of their choices, and you are where you are because of your choices. Deal with it. More importantly, that’s not what matters now. What matters is that you ARE taking the steps to be in that same place, doing what you need to do to get out of debt, and that you WILL arrive there, should you choose to keep on this path.

2. Be grateful. Be grateful that you are blessed with such generous friends. Be grateful that, unlike so many others, you’ve chosen to obey that nagging feeling and start your “get out of debt journey”. Be grateful that you’ve got food to eat and a roof over your head and family/friends to share them with. Most people in the world have it MUCH worse than you do.

3. Turn it around. Use your self-pity to catapult you forward into more action. Use it to give your get out of debt journey a jumpstart. Decide in your heart that you don’t ever want to feel that way again, and take the steps necessary to give your journey a boost: sell some stuff, cut more expenses, seek out more side hustle income. Take the energy you are wasting on self-pity and turn it into action to change your path.

At the end of the night, I remembered that we will indeed get out of debt someday. Likely sooner rather than later if we keep pushing, and that then we’ll be in a place where we can also bless people’s socks off in whatever way the Lord leads us too. And isn’t the thought of that much more fun than wallowing in self-pity?